I'm not sure if this is left over emo-sediment from my Freshman year of college, or if I'm just massively hormonal, but occasionally, I just want to do something really, really emo.
Like:
Or
Level of Emo.
Really emo...
Usually, my first inclination is to post a really angsty Facebook status like:
"Life sucks and guess what? You'll never measure up, and most of the time, no one will care about your lost hopes."
(I actually just made that up as I was typing this...)
But I have the feeling that 98% of my friends would give me that look that House gets when he thinks someone is really stupid.
That one.
BUT.
I also don't want other people, who don't really know me, to go:
Which would be unavoidably followed by their own terrible story.
Which usually has to do with their parents being an unbearable burden because they wouldn't buy them a car only drug lords can afford.
Or because they wouldn't let them go out and ruin their lives by drinking enough to kill a 300 pound Irishman.
That foofaraw is a whole lot more annoying than people frowning at me, as if I told them all my organs had liquified due to my raw, untamed despair.
It's similar to having someone rub their hand on my unshaven legs––against the grain.
Emo statuses also have a tendency to worry people unnecessarily.
Especially when the cause of the distress probably had to do with the fact that A. ) I didn't get to shower that morning. Or B.) I got an 95% on a test and not a 100%. (Yeah, I'm THAT kind of person.)
So, because I don't want to be THAT person––at least not publicly––I don't ever post emo statuses.
Though, I still have the itch to do something that reeks of teen angst and self-pity.
My next consideration is to post a super emo photo of myself.
I figure that a really blurry, high contrast self-portrait will properly alert people to my inner distress.
It would probably look something like this:
[Yes, this is another actual photo of me...]
In my head, my "truly emo" image evokes the same emotion as this:
[Photo copyright to rockthenations]
But, in reality, to everyone else, I just look like this:
So, I don't post emo pictures of myself either.
Do any other people have these urges?
If you do, What do you do with them?!
I'm completely at a loss.
My only other option, aside from the ones above, is to sit in my room, in the dark, playing Red Jumpsuit Apparatus or Evanescence, and writing angsty poetry about the wittle mousey I saw get run over on my way to work.
And that is right out.
If I did, all my hair would turn black, I'd have the urge to get myself pierced in unspeakable places, but even worse, I'd want to listen to Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber. (I've really got nothing against the Beibs, in reality.)
Bah.
BAH, I say.
Generally, when I get the feeling to be emo, I sit there and stare at the computer screen, wondering if I should purge my font of emo feelings or if I should squelch them under a large boulder of denial.
Or I go watch crime shows.
Because hearing about other people's misfortune satisfies the darkness in my soooooul.
[Not really.]
Well, my angstiness has passed and I don't know what else to write.
Peace off.
